So you say I’m a hipster?
Really?...
For god’s sake…
Someone please tell me what a “hipster” actually is?
Because honestly… I don’t f---in get it…
“Oh… you like specific things… What a hipster…..”
This is such ambiguous phraseology
According to the “Googles” 
based on the search criteria “definition hipster”
A hipster is a “noun” for 
“a person who follows the latest trends and fashions.”

I’ve also heard that “hipsters” 
are people who wear fedoras and scarves
I’ve also heard that “hipsters” 
are people who claim they liked trends 
before they were trends
I’ve also heard that “hipsters” 
are skinny guys who wear skinny jeans
White t-shirts with vests 
while drinking Pabst blue ribbon
While listening to a local band 
that broke up 4 years ago’s 2nd album
Entitled “Denim Drown Capsule” 
which is a hypnotic funk electro-ska reggae bop fusion
Which just really transcends 
classical-indie-pop with their new-age reverb
Harkening back to a time 
when male nose rings were a good idea…

It apparently can also mean… 
“Oh… you listen to music that you choose…”
Personally… I don’t listen to the radio
You can! That’s fine!
I like music that I know wasn’t 
crowd sourced, taste tested, cookie-cuttered
Betty Crocker off the box reciped, preserved, 
flash frozen and shipped 
To an iTunes store near you… 
Yes… that’s a pretentious dick description
Which I’m entitled too 
In the warm, sweat-shirted, beats per minute comfort 
of my head phones

But honestly…
I find it the most odd 
that our own habits have spawned this term 
With such snarling animosity 
and yet we are all guilty of hipsterism
We claim to be open-minded 
while locked in our iPod playlists
Netflix subscriptions where our faculties 
are never subjected to anything unpredictable
Google, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Amazon 
(and MySpace for your fucking hipsters)
Create our own personalized shrunken universes
Where we are the center and the little dipper seems tangible
We have become the self-centered, streaming media’d
Attention seeking, customized, tailored, focused, optimized
Psychological anticipatory amalgamation of our clicks
Where we netizens can be right-clicked for our properties
To find that the only permissions we have
are “Read-Only” on ourselves

We have constructed this world 
of only being exposed to what we want
Our budded headphones, once planted, 
take root as weeds in our subconscious
Where dandelions, with no room to grow, 
strangle our pleasure centers
So if it doesn’t feel as though it was designed for us… 
We move on…
And those that never step out of their comfort-verses…
And engross themselves in their passions and hobbies
Leaving no room for discourse or difference…
Spawn a hipster… 

I am a man scarf wearing, neck-tie fetishizing
Man purse rocking, Mini-Cooper driving, 
foreign politics loving, BBC listening, 
Al-Jazeera English watching, 
Belgian Beer always served in a glass drinking, 
Everything Apple despising
Italian espresso pinky-up, well-traveled
Poetry slamming, sweater vest wearing, 
America bashing, Skeptically thinking, 
IT script writing, T-FAL Wok sautéing, 
Underground hip-hop in the car white-boy rapping… 
Hipster…

I prefer euro-trash...